Frogs and Snails and what next?

Hopefully not puppydog tails. At least for Brian's sake. I don't think his poor conscience can handle much more guilt over the carnage! Oh, the blood, the guts and all at the...uh hands?... of those thick lead feet!
We have always joked that Brian has Fred Flinstone feet and I think it is because they are so thick and square looking. Maybe he will let me post a picture of his weapon of choice, but I doubt it. Well, I might as well just come out with it...my husband has murdered two giant snails. You might recall the frog incident of 2001. If you don't, here is a recap. Brian had a little frog buddy that lived by our door in the brush on Camp Pendleton. Every time he came home (I only saw him on the weekends since he was already in 29 Palms) he would look for his little froggy buddy and pet him and hold him...I mean it was pretty cute. I would always tease him because his affinity for animals outweighed mine by a ton. He is the type that would catch a roach and set it free outside...ok maybe not a roach, but definitely a spider or a fly. So anyway his relationship with the frog was going well, they were both very fond of one another until that fated night. It was late, and we were walking from the driveway...up the sidewalk...al..most...there...and CRUNCH!! (pause for effect) I knew immediately what had happened. I quickly crammed the sweatshirt I was holding into my mouth to keep him from hearing my laughter (I know, I'm cruel..sorry). Brian's poor dark sillouette hunched over; he sighed and said, "I know your laughing Heather" I composed my voice enough to say "Oh, honey..." Brian said, "I could see you shaking and holding your mouth..." Brian picked up the foot with the squished carcass on it and flung the remains into the yard. I sympathetically covered the late friend with a leaf to spare Brian from seeing the massacre in the morning (see, I have some compassion). I mean, if I had stepped on it, I would have felt HORRIBLE, honestly, but there was just something about Brian just clunking up to the house with those thick loud feet that just...anyway, you get the picture.
So anyway, about the snails. We have snails her in Okinawa that are huge, I mean the shells of some are like 4 inches long! The girls and I found 2 that would hang around the house and in the mornings we would look for them to see how far they had traveled overnight. We also have tons of little snails everywhere too. Brianna got upset because she stepped on a little tiny one and I assured her it was unavoidable because they are as numerous as ants practically.
One recent weekend, Brian bought his very first lawn-mower, so I went out to the yard to see how Brian was doing and I see him and Brianna standing side by side in the grass. The birds were chirping, the breeze was nice, and it was just a really nice day. But Brian and Brianna looked out of place in the scene. They were both looking down at the grass pathetically. Brianna reached up to Brians lower back and gave him a pat "It's ok daddy, *sigh* I've done it too". Of course, I was already trying to hold back a knowing smile (I CAN'T HELP IT...IT'S FUNNY) "What happened?", I tried to sound as concerned as possible. Brian looked up almost smiling because he knows I know. "I found one of the giant snails"..."Yep" Brianna chimed in "Daddy stepped on it" she pursed her lips, obviously ashamed of the trait she and her daddy shared. The trait that causes ones feet to be drawn to crunch and kill unsuspecting little critters. I had asked what happened just to find out HOW in the world could he have clunked those feet on top of a giant snail in broad daylight! He said that he was just walking along and heard a big crunch.
I think I would have been laughing if I would have SEEN it happen, but since I was only hearing about it, and Brianna was present, the situation was not quite as...funny. I just shook my head and went back inside the house. Brian continued his yard work and came back in the house about 20 minutes later..."You are never going to believe it,.... I 'found' the other one too". Poor Brian...beware small creatures.