Grandma

This is my Grandma with Brianna and Anjolie last summer before we left for Japan. We miss you and love you Grandma!! And Anjolie says thank you so much for her card and money :)

Random Pics

Oops

I forgot to post some of these. Here are some pictures from Brianna's little birthday party we had as a family. Our schedule has been so hectic lately!!!

YEEESS!

...I WOOORE THEM OUT!! I am a playground slave driver let me tell you. I made the kids play for 3 hours straight :) I played tag with them and wore myself out too. The whole point was I needed them to rest so I could get some extra work done, but I ended up exhausted too. Anjolie as you can tell in the picture was POOPED. She could not even make it the 5 min drive home ;)

Thank You Grandmom and Pop Pop!!

Brianna was sooo excited to get her birthday box in the mail....of course getting pictures is always a challenge...thought you would enjoy seeing some "personality" :)

Just what I needed..

http://blueletterbible.org/morneve/05/0525am.html

The Lump...s PRAISE!!

Ok, the Pathologist called me at home herself...isn't that sooo nice :) She said they believe that the lumps are "complex cysts" which means they are filled with debris and macrophages (?) which makes them appear to be solid on the U/S..which is why they thought it was a lymph node. So, because these carry a greater risk of cancer...however small...they are going to wait until they enlarge again (the aspiration made them tiny) and then remove them to make sure they are benign. Praise the Lord for that!! Thank you so much for your prayers. And if anyone knows anthing about these types of cysts...please let me know!

So...I Had a Meltdown Yesterday

Yes, it all just sort of came tumbling down. I think, I am just tired, sick, and spread a little thin,..did I mention sin filled?...So instead of being a Godly, loving and meek wife and mother yesterday...umm yeah. I was an irritable, yelling, mean, non-submissive wife and mother. It was awful, and the whole time I could hear His voice quietly reminding me that it was my choice to choose this route...it was my trial He lovingly allowed, my trial that I had asked for and prayed to grow from and I was trying to get through it on my strength and on my own terms...and you know what, we were ALL miserable from it. Yeah, of course I could point fingers, but the truth is as soon as I just stopped and stood up ( I was crumpled in a pitiful little ball crying...how ridiculous) and said I was sorry and asked forgiveness (from my husband). It was like a dominoe affect....my husband's heart immediately softened "...a kind word turneth away wrath". And the thing is, the Lord's strength was there the whole time just waiting for me to choose it...and I chose to use tears, guilt and blame as manipulation to get what I wanted...in hind sight I see this. In the midst of the situation, I was just thinking of how overwhelmed and miserable I felt and how it was everyone else's fault...how much I give to my family..blah puke puke blah. Notice all the "I"...amazing how blind I is huh? Guess I'm gonna go throught that test yet again *sigh* why can't I just LEARN!!

Help! My House Is a Mess!

Well, we know what I am going to be doing today...cleaning my HOUSE ugh!! My Monday cleaning day was spent at the Drs , and yesterday Brian had duty....so the mess is just getting bigger and bigger. *sigh* SOOO I think I am going to load up the girls and Ayden and go get a coffee treat from Seattle Coffee to "motivate" me a little...ok ALOT. Hmmmmm where do I begin.....maybe I will have a better idea after a little caffeine. Hope you all have a wonderful wonderful day!!

Another Blessing of Okinawa

When I was in 29 Palms, I am embarrassed to say that other than when on visitation I almost never handed out tracts. I always had the "intention" of doing it, but just never did...and definitely was almost never prepared with one on hand in case the Lord placed an opportunity in my lap...sad sad sad. Anyway...the church here offers visitation and soul winning almost every week, and I have really tried to take advantage of it. The great thing is, it has kept soul winning at the forefront of my mind and now I feel bad if a couple of days goes by that I have not handed out a tract (getting better). AND the Okinawans are so polite and easy to give material to...what a blessing. The ministry here has def. increased my boldness for getting the gospel out and it is SUCH a great experience!!

Anjolie's Date

Anjolie and her

Daddy getting ready to

leave for their date.

Happy Birthday Brianna!

Brianna turned 5 years old today! I can't believe it!! She is such a blessing. This is Brianna and her daddy before he took her out on their "date". He took Anjolie the night before.

Needle Biopsy

When the Dr I saw today said they don't use any anesthetic for the needle biopsy because it can distort the lump, I was a little hesitant...but let me tell you, other than the initial pinch and them using the needle to cut pieces off...it is not NEAR as bad as it sounds. When they explained the procedure and had me fill out all this paperwork I was like "ok guys, did I sign up for the wrong thing...it's a needle biopsy not an amputation" I was really starting to get nervous thinking it was going to be alot more painful than what I had originally had in mind. It was a cinch....the idea of it is much worse and I felt woozy just from the gross feeling of it. They did 3 or 4 sticks I can't remember because I just felt kinda sick.
Well, they actually found another lump that appears to be somehow connected to the initial one, and this lump is a lower than the one just under my collarbone....so the Doc biopsied that one too. They are back to not knowing what it is...since it did not contain a ton of white blood cells...the pathologist who did the biopsy said she would call me herself by the end of the week (wasn't that so nice!) to let me know what she thinks. The surgeon said it will probably turn out that it should just be removed completely and he said by analyzing the material, it will point to what part of my body is draining into it. Now these Drs seem to know what they are doing and what they are talking about...I guess surgeons and pathologists would have to huh :) At least I feel the Lord has placed me in good hands.

PURPLE People

I know, another Anjolie story, but hey...I know the Grandparents enjoy them...I think ;)

For a while now Anjolie has been talking about purple people, and I thought she had just been referring to what someone was wearing. She might say while I am driving "Mommy, the purple man told me to stop jumping in class" or something to that affect so that I don't actually see the person she is talking about. I never put any thought at all into it. Well, as I was driving through the gate the other day Anjolie said "Mommy! that purple man waved back at me!".....now, the guard was in utilities...green utilities, but he happened to be a black man. So I said, " you mean black honey, that man is black, and we are white and some are brown and some kind of yellow...you know -like the song....(then I just could not hold back my laugh, to which she was very offended)...NOONE is purple honey" LOL

Just a note to say that the child knows her colors well...I have no idea why she chose purple vice brown...lol who knows what that little girl's logic is.

HOW EMBARRASSING

I was sitting out on our back porch enjoying our swing and enjoying some quiet time while most of the kids napped when I had the pleasant surprise of a visit from one of my neighbors. I had spoken to her only on one other occasion. I have been happy for the chance to be able to talk with her and I plan to invite her to an upcoming family revival as I have one other neighbor. Anyway, she came up our back yard hill with her adorable little 6mo old and I invited her to have a seat on one of the patio chairs. We had a nice chat for about 30-40min when all the sudden I noticed this puddle under her seat...and the chair was still dripping! We were quite involved in our conversation and she seemed undisturbed...but here I had invited her to sit in a chair still soaked from the previous nights rain!! The very same thing happened to my Mother in Love when they came to visit...except her seat was not soaked. How embarrassing...I wonder why she did not say anything!? I will take better care next time to be a better hostess.

AT a SNAIL'S Pace

If you noticed my ticker (of course you did) I put a snail on there because THAT is how it feels!! Ugh...every 5lbs equals a dress size, and I sure would love to lose those last 2 sizes to fit in to all my pre-preg clothing. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for the weight I have already lost, but I really cannot afford not to fit in to my old stuff!!

BTW--I am still sick! I RARELY run a fever. And I have been running significant fevers for 3 days now as in I wake up at night soaked from sweat from when my fever breaks. I meet with the surgeon on the 22nd -please pray for me. And, thank you for your prayers -I definitely can tell because I have felt such a peace these past 2 weeks after posting and emailing some of you. (most of my family reads, but do not comment-they email) Love you all!!- Heather

The Time is COMING

And this Gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come
Matthew 24:14

The spiritual warfare is at its peak don't you think? Have we ALL not been dealing with an incredible amount of "attack" in our lives? The battle against anger, sickness, disaster....all part of Satan's plan to try and render us useless in the cause of Christ. Even brothers and sisters in Christ- gossiping and hurting one another...kicking eachother when their down instead of lifting up and exhorting. Satan knows his time is near...we must pray fervently for one another, and GET THE GOSPEL OUT!! It is reassuring to me when I look around at all the strife that the time is near and an encouragement to continue showing I am on the Lord's side...whatever Satan might throw at me to separate me or cause me to ruin my testimony, I just remind myself that he is raging and truly a lion seeking to devour anyone and everyone before the RETURN OF CHRIST. It is coming!! Remain steadfast dear friends.

Feelin' Sick

:( I don't feel well. I will post when I do. I think it is the flu...again.

A..B...C Tag

Accent: Someone said I sound like I'm from California...I didn't realize that was an accent
Bible book I like: Proverbs
Chore that I don't like: Putting away laundry
Dog or Cat: 2 cats being "kitty-sat" by Jamie ;)
Essesntial Electronic: computer
Favorite Cologne: CHANEL's "Chance"
Gold or Silver: Gold (wedding ring), I think I prefer silver
Handbag I carry most often: The diaper bags are my handbags.
Insomnia: Nope! Thank you Ayden, Lily and girls...you WEAR MOMMY OUT!
Job Title: Homemaker
Kids: 3girls and 1 boy
Living Arrangements: A 4 bedroom concrete duplex
Most Admirable Trait: Always learning that my admirable traits are marred with sin
Naughtiest Childhood Trait: talk back--mouthy
Overnight Hospital Stay: 4 babies, tonsillectomy, severe kidney infection
Phobias: flying
Quote: I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
C. S. Lewis
It's wonderful to climb the liquid mountains of the sky. Behind me and before me is God and I have no fears.
Helen Keller

Religion: Born again Believer...so much more than a religion..
Siblings: A sister and a brother
Time I wake up: Depends on Lily anywhere from 5:45am to 6:30am
Unusual talent or skill: Can read people very well
Vegetable I refuse to eat: cooked yellow squash (like it raw)
Worst habit: there are so many...I jump to conclusions, struggle with pride of life, interrupt, not always dependable (like when I am sick which is often), make excuses (see previous habit ;) ), procrastinate, not always submissive (pride)...*sigh* the list goes on
X-rays: car accident-broke both wrists and an ankle, pneumonia, this lump on my collarbone, of course dental
Yummy stuff I cook: Chicken-n-dumplins, pork-chops. (at least my husband says it's yummy)
Zoo Animal I like: Baby Elephants

I tag whoever wants to participate :)

MOMMY!!

...you know better than to put my popcorn in my hat!

Thank You Honey

for my beautiful Mother's Day flowers :) I love you honey.

Happy Mother's Day!

MOTHER'S LOVE

Her love is like
an island in life's ocean,
vast and wide

A peaceful, quiet shelter
From the wind, the rain, the tide.
'Tis bound on the north by Hope,
By Patience on the West,
By tender Counsel on the South
And on the East by Rest.

Above it like a beacon light
Shine Faith, and Truth, and Prayer;
And thro' the changing scenes of life
I find a haven there.

~Author Unknown~

Thank you

..for bearing with me as I blog my way through this little trial which truly shows me how pathetic I really am.

This, I found encouraging. Charles Spurgeon, in a sermon on humility said, "When God intends to fill a soul with His spirit He first makes it empty; when He intends to enrich a soul He first makes it poor; when He intends to exalt a soul, He first makes it sensible of its own miseries, wants and nothingness."

How rottenly filled with myself I am. "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, and honour, and life." Proverbs 22:4

(did I mention how much I love this Titus 2 series :) ok, ok, stop the gagging, but I really really do!)

PITY PARTY!

Wanna come? Just Kidding. I am however trying not to feel sorry for myself. What great practice I am getting!! (that's what I am supposed to say right?)

We were not able to celebrate our anniversary on the 9th, so Brian promised we would this weekend...today in fact. He arranged for a sitter for the kids and everything. I was really looking forward to whatever he had planned. Well, it started last night with a phone call around 9pm that he needed to get over to the barracks..the Marines were acting up. So, he got home around 1230am and then left again at 5am to help out again. He will be hangin' out there all day while the Marines change barracks...and I get to stay home with the children and get a good look at my stinky attitude. Poor Jamie's hubby is in IRAQ, and I'm complaining that Brian has to cancel our plans...BOOHOO what a baby I am.

"He's still workin' on me...to make me what I oughta beee..." that's the song in my head today.

Who is the real ME?

Honestly...the person I am with my children...whether they test me or not. THAT is who I am: the good the bad and the ugly. Why? They are so forgiving, easy to please, so ready to bear whatever...good or bad -that I have to dish out. I don't feel as if I am accountable to them in any way (deep down). *sigh* It is plain to see the areas I need to work on. Who am I most selfish with? My children. Who am I most impatient with? Who do I blow off? Vent my steam on? Let my guard down with? Scary huh? I am glad the Lord is showing me more and more...He is developing that humility which will ultimately destroy the "twins" pride and anger.

New Name for her Phalange

Anjolie came running into the livingroom..tears streaming..."MOMMY, I hurt my BIG pinky" I looked and saw her holding her thumb. She can always make me laugh.

Uh-Oh

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo Sharing
Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo Sharing

Still Studying Anger

Humility is key in destroying sinful anger...since anger is a twin to pride. This is such a humbling study..I am so thankful for God's forgiveness. Here is an exerpt from "Secrets of a Happy Heart" by Debi Pryde. It is the first book in an 8 part Titus 2 series

"People like to imagine they are fairly righteous and good-that only certain conditions provoke them to be unnaturally sinful. The truth is that adverse circumstances simply reveal what we really are inside and convince us that God is correct in the way He assesses our sinful condition."

"Those who believe their views make them more lovable, righteous, or superior than others will exhibit a spirit of anger or intolerance when they are corrected or when offenses and differences in opinions arise."

"We succeed in fighting our sinful nature and the wiles of the devil by bowing our will to God and submitting wholly to Christ alone. To submit to God is to resist the devil. James 4:10 'Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.' Humility, then is the cornerstone truth that will lead to true freedom from anger."

I just wish I would have opened my eyes to the truth earlier ya know?!

Lily is BUSY!!

Lily has really "taught" me this week

-I have to unload the dishwasher in 5 min increments because she LOVES to "help" me (gonna get a baby gate...again)

-we could feed a small army on the amount of crumbs I find under the couch cushions..weekly

-that it isn't really extra sleep that I need- it is extra arms, eyes, another couple of personalities...

-bleach is now one of my best friends

-STRAY Pens are the ENEMY

-I should just give up reading anything unless it is between the hours of ...oh, wait..Ayden helps with this one...10pm -5am and then it must be between Ayden's nursings

-I really won't go deaf..as much as I would like to ;)...her screaming is just as piercing every single time.

-If she is quiet and out of sight, she must be playing in the toilet

-I can load up an emptied cabinet of DVDs in 2 min..at least 3 times a day

-the floor and everything on it must be clean enough for Lily to taste test it

-Anything I am holding in my hand MUST be better than what she already has chewed up in her mouth...she will spit it out EVERY time if I have even the same thing in my hand

-I can nurse, wipe Anjolie, and block the bathroom cabinet door from Lily all at the same time

-But she has also taught me that no matter how tired, frustrated, or emotional I feel, one of her little hugs can make me feel like a million bucks

-Yes, I did learn most of this with Brianna and Anjolie...it is amazing how quickly I forget!!

TAGGED AGAIN!

But THIS one is harder...10 things I like about myself...hmmm (all by God's Grace of course)
1. that I am SAVED!
2. Being blessed with an ability to sing
3. I have perseverence
4. I am very loyal
5. I truly desire to be a Godly wife and mother
6. That my skin tans golden
7. I am compassionate
8. My 100% faith in prayer
9. I love helping others
10. I allow God to work in my life

again..any good at all that the Lord allows me to see, is by His grace alone.

Ok, I tag:
Karen
Jamie
Melissa

Busted!!

Anjolie posing with her "illegal alien" whom she stowed in the "trunk" of her trike.

You would never guess this cute little girl all in pink on her pink little trike would be hiding an illegal in her "trunk". She even poured water in there for him...what a character-this little girl.
Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo SharingI could not believe it when I lifted up that seat and saw that giant snail in there in the mud...*sigh* AND you can hear her totally incriminate herself right here on tape about going in the street. She had found another snail and placed it out in the cul-de-sac...she should have plead the 5th!

14 Things About My Mom

Ok, Jamie...thanks for tagging me :) Here it goes!
1. She loves the Lord
2. She is a poet
3. She is a writer
4. She is very creative
5. She loves Daffodil and Lilac
6. A Blessed Homemaker
7. Was a stay at home mom of 3
8. Was one of 10 children
9. Has a great sense of humor (we love playing jokes)
10. Has a knack for decorating and putting beautiful gifts together
11. Loves chocolate and fresh ground coffee (just to name a couple of things)
12. Makes Delicious and beautiful pies
13. Has passed on to me a love for traditional homemaking and bargain shopping
14. Loves a rainy day to curl up with a good book, a cozy blanket and her coffee - able to see beauty in every day things. Truly a woman of strength and perseverence beyond measure.

I love you mom...and I could go on and on, but the game was to list "14" :)
Ok, I tag
Ashleigh
Karen
Melissa
Kim
Steph
Elorra (what is your site now?)
and Laurie

Ahhhh

A girls' night out was just what I needed! A good friend of mine called me on the off chance that I might want to go out to dinner and bowling with her and one other lady. The reason I say "off chance" is because I can get a little on the anti-social side when I have a new baby *shock* ;) Well, our little group grew to about 10 of us (not including my little nursing baby)! We piled into a van in which 2 ladies sat on the floor in the back and pretended to be groceries as we went in and out of gates :)LOL We went to a great Japanese steak place where they cook it in front of you and everything..delicious and then had a great time bowling. It really made me homesick for our old church, but it was good to fellowship with the ladies at our new church. It was a real blessing.

Just Some Random Anjolie Stuff

-I was explaining to Anjolie how God planned everything about her...to include her hair to which she replied "Yeah, and God only planned a little bit of hair for Daddy" I laughed, but Anjolie did not even crack a smile she just said "Mmmmhmmm that's true" :)

-I jokingly told Brianna that if she did not start obeying that I was gonna set her tail on fire...the room got silent in thought (I thought they were going to laugh), as I had never used this expression before. As I left their room, Anjolie peeks around the corner and said "Mommy, Brianna doesn't have a tail"...I laughed and said "Her BOTTOM Anjolie" to which Anjolie quickly reported to Brianna "your tail is your bottom NaNa".

-Anjolie went in the bathroom and stepped on the scale like she just does that every day or something and very matter of factly said "time to weigh my feet" LOL

-Anjolie asked me if I would tie some bows on her stuffed doggy's little ears- I only had one bow so I suggested putting it on his tail...Anjolie frowned and said "No, 'cause he'll toot on it"

So...

I guess the fact that they are insisting on drawing this thing out over months and months means I really should not worry? The General surgeon does not have an appt until the 22nd of May..and that is just for the consult. I am not sure if that is just the military system, or what. *sigh*

OOOuuuch!!!

Boy is this devotion excerpt right on the money for what the Lord is showing me.

My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers

..."How many of us have learned to look inwardly with courage?

We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves. That is always the last bit of pride to go. The only One who understands us is God. The greatest curse in our spiritual life is pride. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we will never say, "Oh, I’m so unworthy." We will understand that this goes without saying. But as long as there is any doubt that we are unworthy, God will continue to close us in until He gets us alone. Whenever there is any element of pride or conceit remaining, Jesus can’t teach us anything. He will allow us to experience heartbreak or the disappointment we feel when our intellectual pride is wounded. He will reveal numerous misplaced affections or desires— things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. Many things are shown to us, often without effect. But when God gets us alone over them, they will be clear."

At a SNAIL'S pace...

...but, if it is the Lord's timing then it is the perfect pace right? ;)
I had my follow up for my results from the ultrasound this evening. The Dr said that it does not look like a cyst, that it is most likely a lymph node. So, I have been referred to the general surgeon (can't call till Friday) for a biopsy. At some point there will be an ending to this...hopefully sooner than later.

Ultra-Sound

Well, I had the ultrasound of the lump under my collarbone. It just shows up as a black mass...so they still don't know what it is. I have to follow up with my Dr to find out. I know this sounds sarcastic, but hey, by the end of the year, we just might know what this is huh? *sigh* Please continue to pray for me about this. I would love for them just to quickly find out what it is instead of dragging this out over months and months. Ridiculous.

"Secrets Of a Happy Heart"

by Debi Pryde is my latest Bible Study. It is book 1 in the Titus 2 series. It is SO convicting. *phew* some tough but necessary truths are being openly shown to me through this. here is a quote from part of my study today....

"The root of human thirst and discontent springs from a failure to seek and know God. We remain discontent when we become emotionally attached to things, people, achievements, or interests instead of the God who has formed and sustained us. When we do not fall in love with the person of Christ, we do not cultivate an enjoyment for the things of God or the Word of God, which is the well from which we find living water, our source for wisdom and joy. (Study Psalm 63 and John 4:7-15.)"

My question to myself...Am I truly wholeheartedly seeking to know the person of Christ? I have to honestly say...no. More and more I realize that to seek to know Him involves alot more than just prayer and study...it involves a desperate search and longing for Him -a real meditation on His truths. I am more interested at times to find out how close I am to Him/ how much I have progressed rather than realize I am SO far away that I never need examine it...I just need to walk forward/ always forever in His light and never examining anything that would make room for the sin of pride (which, by the way, is a sneaky sin that I find lurking...fueling my anger..but that is a whole other project the Lord is helping me with-boy is it a painful root). Thank you so much for your prayers.

"In My Easter Bonnet....

...with all the frills upon it.." Ok, well, it was not for Easter, but she sure looks cute :)

Little Man in the Making :)

Ahhh the challenge of learning about how to use multiple remotes...poor little guy is exhausted from his first lesson ;)

Little Momma in the Making

Anjolie is so patient with little Ayden.
Anjolie told me she thought that Ayden wanted some milk....from her :)