Rekindle

It's usually this time of year that I start to think of my relationships, the events of the past year and how once again, I let myself get too busy to enjoy my family and friends as much as I had intended. I think about the pictures I didn't take, the bedtime kisses I forgot and that sick knot forms in my belly...do you know about that "knot"? It's that knot of longing for bygones. We can never get this time back, the moment to hug and comfort that friend, the bonding with a tween girl, the phone call to a sick church member, a visit to the dying...the bed time chats, prayers, kisses.. I want to rekindle the desire to live in the moment. I want to breath it ALL in by looking into the eyes of my children when they talk to me instead of frantically loading dishes as if they would eat me up if I didn't. To neglect friends is a heartache, but to neglect time with my fast growing children is heartbreaking. Snuggles, hugs, kisses, active listening...it has to take priority EVERY day until they leave our home...I don't ever want this lap of mine to grow cold.