When It Rains-On The Inside

This is "where I'm at", as of these past few days. I have a nagging feeling, one that I guess could be described, by some, as depressed, but I hate that word-I don't find it anywhere in the Bible. "Troubled" would be a better word, it has more hope because the Bible has answers for a troubled heart. A Biblical definition for depressed would be "sorrow without hope" and Praise the Lord, that is NOT the situation! Yes, "troubled" is the best word because it refers to being afflicted with trials. The fact that my emotions are over-reacting does not mean that my trials are bigger than God, it does not mean the Lord has not met my needs-I find that my emotional reactions exaggerate my situation-out of habit. I could go my Dr and ask for something to "take the edge off" these feelings I have trained myself to have...or I could discipline my thoughts and my emotions will follow...eventually. I know, in my case, the latter solution is what the Lord would have me do.

This move and just life in general has held trial after trial in which I can see blessing after blessing-the blessings have been overwhelming, to be honest. We are still enduring some trials and even in these trials, I see the Lord's purpose and provision, so why do I allow undisciplined thoughts to rage against what I know in my heart to be true? It is frustrating to suffer troubled feelings because I have given in to angry thoughts-which I justify because it would seem I have a "right" to be angry for myself and my "suffering". You know, I might have the "right" by the world's standards, but the Lord in His wisdom has allowed these sufferings and if I don't respond in my heart the way my head (in reminding me of the Word) tells me too- with longsuffering and patience, I am only hurting myself. I am choosing to suffer that "trouble" which He has spared me. His Word ever reminds me of His love and care, His Grace, His mercy and His attempts to comfort me with His promises of never leaving or forsaking me have been thwarted with my resolve to "dip in" to the angry thoughts that I think I have a right to. "Oh, just a few indulging thoughts followed by how good God is to me shouldn't cause to much damage" I think to myself. Well, now here I sit in a beautiful garden, of sorts, not really being able to enjoy the beauty for the brambles and thorns I've sown. These lessons are so hard, but I am looking forward to practicing Philippians 4:6-9 and experiencing the fulness of His joy so that when the rain comes next time, it will stay on the outside...I won't be inviting it into my heart.

We Interrupt Unpacking

...to bring you this hairbrained update. Sorry that I got your hopes up with that last post...you know, the whole part about getting unpacked and therefore being able to put together something worth eh, "glancing" at. Yes, well, THIS won't be it, but, uh, I just thought I'd share a tid bit of the poor judgement I had.

You see, I thought that having the movers put all the boxes in the garage would be a fantastic idea so I wouldn't have the clutter and mess of wall to wall boxes that I so enjoyed in 29 Palms *ahem*. Don't get me wrong, the various broken and damaged items ring up bittersweet memories of "packing day" when we were moving from 29 to Oki *smile*...really. I wouldn't be sad to go back even with the terrible hassle of having to file claims for poorly packed things-*mmm* yeah, let me think on that a while yet.

But anyway, I digress (HA, I always wanted to use that word). The whole stroke-of -genius idea I had about putting the boxes in the garage has left my house so clean that I have to force myself to bring in more than a couple of boxes at a time to unpack. Can you just imagine my 4 little ones in a flurry of paper, tape and bubble wrap...lots and lots of bubble wrap. I know you can-you have read about the antics in the past. *Mess* just doesn't convey the scene after even 2 boxes. And then there is all the STUFF (we had "stuff" in storage too); the kids want to see, touch, and in Ayden's case, taste, chew on EVERYTHING. You never realize how much junk you collect until you MOVE!! We could live with so much less...it's embarrassing really. I guess what I am trying to say is that this whole unpacking thing is going a lot slower than it would have if I were encapsulated in a cardboard palace up to my chin in packing paper. So, that was all, thought I'd share :) buh bye for now.

Uhhhh, What's My Password?

Hello friends- such an absence is unforgiveable on Blogger...but I'm sorry all the same. I almost forgot the info to even log in!

Well people, after our 10 days in a hotel, living life flipped upside down and backwards since our days and nights were switched from being on Okinawa time, we spent a month with my family up in Ohio. It was such a nice break and definitely helpful since we would not be receiving any household goods for a good month. They don't have internet so I couldn't update you all on what a fun time we were having...sorry!! We did have fun and enjoyed all the conveniences like Wallymart and Chick-fil-@. I bought a really good hair straighter at the Ohio State Fair-who da thunk it?! We had a family get-together po-folk style which was a real hoot. But my favorite times were the ones spent laying on a vintage quilt under a big shade tree reading books and eating cucumbers, bonfires under the stars, watching my Dad take the kids for rides on his mower, enjoying the beautiful flowers around my parents yard, catching toads with the kids, planting a tree at almost midnight, staying up late to catch my brother after work so we could have time to talk and catch up, watching Phelps win his gold medals with my feet propped up on my husband's lap just enjoying his time off from work, helping my sister try on wedding dresses, long talks with my mom, hearing my dad laughing and playing with the kids and hearing their feet patter to the door when he would come home from work ...there are really too many to list. *sigh* It was time much needed.

So much has happened in this move...the good and the challenging and the incredibly challenging and the incredible blessings...all of it I know works to the Lord's good. It has all been such a whirlwind and at the same time because of our circumstances, I have had a lot of time to devote to reading the Bible...lots of time spent in prayer, lots of time to deal with looking at heart issues. There's nothing like being ALONE, really alone, and to be able to allow the Lord to put things in perspective. The Word is truly like a mirror -the kind that shows it ALL...ich. I really get on my nerves after a while :D...no, seriously, I just want to smack myself sometimes. I am so thankful to have my internetty back to distract me for just little smidgens (HA) of time so I can, you know, break up the time I have to spend with myself...and my childrens ;)

And with that I will get back to work. What a horrible first post back from the virtual dead! *blush* Ugh, maybe if I get some of these boxes unpacked, I will be able to get my head uncluttered and write something worth glancing at! Anyway, love you all and I look forward to catching up!

Ephesians 6:10

...applied in real life. Pastor Greg Laurie, in the wake of his son Christopher's death in a car accident, said, "The Lord is with me. I can't be afraid of suffering. I will continue on with greater commitment. . . . I have a task to do and I am going to do it."

"I can't be afraid of suffering"-that spoke to my heart of hearts-so convicting.

Getting Situated

Hi friends and family! Well, we are in Virginia, we landed last Wed. after traveling from Oki to Osaka (mainland) then Detroit and finally after being redirected for a while...to our final destination. Things are very busy, as you can imagine. I think we have finally gotten over the roughest part of the jet lag. We had to pick up a van which we purchased through the Exchange while overseas...neat program, get all the registration taken care of etc for that..and now we are looking for housing. We found a church that we believe is where the Lord would have us serve while we are here...so thank you so much for your prayers and please continue to keep us in prayer as we transition. There is MUCH to do! I won't be able to visit with you for a while as most of my internet time is spent looking for housing and the rest of the time is spent out and about checking out the area. It just amazes me how drastically the dynamics of a neighborhood changes within as little as 5 mi!!!

I love and miss you-please pray as moving is always difficult for the children (and for me!). Anjolie broke down after church this past Sunday and said, "I knew this day was coming, but *sob* I miss Pastor...I would always go give him a hug and say hi on my way to choir practice..." then she got me going-right there in Olive Garden we had ourselves a little cry over the churches we have had the blessing of being a part of...it is so hard to leave church family, but it is neat how our church family is just growing :) what a reunion it will be in Glory huh?

Perspective

My dad sent this to me today and it put things in perspective...sure I'm going through the stress of moving, but look at this guy...Oh, the things I take for granted-

" this Army soldier in Iraq with his tiny 'plot' of grass in front of his tent. Here is a soldier stationed in Iraq , stationed in a big sand box. He asked his wife to send him dirt (U.S.soil), fertilizer, and some grass seed so that he can have the sweet aroma, and feel the grass grow beneath his feet. When the men of the squadron have a mission the they are going on, they take turns walking through the grass and the American soil..." We have so much to be thankful for-God is so good, all the time.

In FULL Swing

Well, my friends, the time has come...the move is in fulll swing. We packed out our express shipment yesterday and everything else goes tomorrow. We must commence to cleaning which won't be nearly as bad as leaving 29...but I am still having to spend hours power-washing..... the sidewalk and the house hahahaha....yeah, in 29 it was raking the sand, here, it is power-washing everything. Please pray for me thoughout all this, I have a raging headache :( which I think is from allergies-but could also be from chasing Ayden and making sure he doen't climb into a box and get himself packed. Seriously people, these Japanese packers pack EVERYTHING, their own stuff if it is not set aside, small animals and children if they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Wouldn't THAT be something to blog about...I hope NOT. But, please pray for my poor pounding head-these headaches I get can last for days. It started last night before I went to bed...and I woke up with it...ich.

Another prayer request please, there is a typhoon coming which could really put us in a bind for lodging since our reservations are at the beach...and every other place is completely booked-PCS (perm change of station) season. And, oh yeah, did I mention I am terribly afraid of flying? So without further ado, I will go back to packing and cleaning and you know, all that fun stuff involved with moving :) Thank you so very much for your prayers...they mean the world to me.

We Serve An Amazing God

My husband and I had the great blessing of being able to MIRL a bloggy friend's husband! In a nutshell, Becky and Matt are newlyweds...Matt had served his time in the USMC, and he was honorably discharged only to be recalled just months after wedding his beautiful bride and then deployed to Okinawa! I could not imagine, the whole situation just hurt my heart for them. So, precious Becky (that pic of her just totally choked me up when I saw it...too sweet) has been away from her husband for a good while now. Becky and I have been cooresponding since about April-it has been wonderful to get to know her and how "big" the Lord is in her life and to have the Lord impress upon me how loved she is. We have now had an extra special blessing because her beloved took us up on an offer to catch a ride to church both last Sunday and yesterday-(he has also been deployed to other places during this time) since he was back on Okinawa.

We had a potluck this past Sunday (our yesterday) after church, and Bro. Matt agreed to join us :) Our children were thrilled to meet him - and proceeded to just chat his poor ear off...you know, the whole 20,000 who, what, where, why question thing that kids do to people. I am so glad he brought his camera and took some pictures because last Sunday my battery died and this Sunday, the memory card was left in it's port on my printer *ahem* ...but Matt had prepared by bringing his own...I AM blonde after all and susceptible to lapses in intelligence (hahahahaha), so, when we get his pics, I will post them. ETA- I got them!! Thank you Brother! :)

What a precious couple they are and so loved by the Lord...what a blessing to be able to cross paths with them in such a unique way. God is so good and there is so much more I would like to say about this "encounter" with the Lord's work, but I honestly can't comprehend what all the Lord was *doing* in all this...I am just left in awe of Him. Please pray for them as they will be reunited very VERY soon! I am SO excited for them!! Please stop by her blog and let her know you will pray for safe flights for both of them. Thank you!

The MOVE...

...it's goin'. I will share just a glimpse of the fun we are having. :)

We are in the process of selling our van, and I was on the phone this morning with a prospective buyer, when I heard a knock at the door. "Oh, yeah!.." I remembered, "the movers are coming to take a quick inventory of household goods"! It was NOT a good time-I had a friend due to come in an hour so we could finish making baby shower invitations, Brianna was still in the process of getting dressed for a culture class that she was taking (today was the last day) so I shooed her into her room to finish, Lily was in her swim suit and some dress-up shoes since I told the girls we would go to the pool today...so I shooed her to get some clothes on....I have no idea what Anjolie was doing, and Ayden, well, he stood at the door waiting to see who was knocking. I quickly explained to the inquirer on the phone that I would need to call her back, the crazy moment just seemed like toooo much seeing as how it wasn't even 9am yet. So, I opened the front door to let one of the Japanese movers in and let him stand in the entry-way while I got off the phone. Ayden looked up at the man, who was waiting patiently with his clipboard, squatted down to jump and announced "I POOPED!...I pooped!" with each little hop, in the sweetest little 2 year old voice you ever heard, like it was good news or some new thing...I almost dropped the phone I was so mortified. I didn't even try to apologize, it was just one.of.those.moments I swooped up the stinky little guy-not sure what I said to the caller as I hung up with her, and left the poor Japanese man who was rolling over the english in his mind translating it to Japanese, I'm sure, as I mentally pressed *delete delete* in desperation...the rest is a blur...so yeah, the whole movin' thing...it's goin'

No More Stitches

We snapped this pic before Ayden went to get his 3 stitches out....it took over 2 hours of *sigh* blood sweat and tears because they were too tight, but the Dr finally numbed it with lidocain and sort of "dug" them out ich...Allll done!

The We/They Thing

"There are two classes of people: the righteous and the unrighteous. The classifying is done by the righteous"*-Ambrose Bierce

- okay that satirical tid-bit about our tendencies in Church made me chuckle. They put their children in school and we home school, they have shorter hair and we have longer hair, they bottle feed and we nurse, they are new Christians and we are mature Christians...you get the idea. Why do we have that tendency to make everything a we/they thing? People are either for us or against us-in our minds-I am most always mistaken when I, in my mind accuse someone of being "against" me. ( I am NOT talking about the approval of sin issues btw). If we are born-again believers....it is always WE -and WE should always be looking to Christ, before whom we will one day stand and give account . It is He who sees ALL and is always on our side when we are living for Him :)

*quote taken from On Being A Servant of God by Warren W. Wiersbe pg 49

Tammy's Recipes

This site has been linked on my side bar for a long time, but I just thought I'd point it out...Tammy's Recipes I love it...from real do it yourself recipes tried and tested by her readers to homemaking tips, child care and encouragement...her little neck of the internet is a real treasure. Take a moment to explore-especially if you have small children, she is truly an inspiration!

Lily Presents...

Lily loves this song- she learned it in her 3 y/o class-enjoy!

1930's Housewife

100 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

I was surprised! How did you do?
ETA

132 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

My dear husband scored even better! (I took it for him...so you KNOW it's gotta be the truth ;) hahaha)

Silly, Stitches and Stuff

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July!





Here are some pics from the past week.





One of our family's favorite places to eat with the kids is the "Globe and Anchor" ....the kids call it the "Golden Ankle" :) I took some pics since this is probably the last time we will eat there before we move.












Daddy gets silly with the kids.
Ayden loooooves his daddy! He likes to squeeze daddy's face and say "chubbo chubbo dada" :)




Brian had duty on the 4th, so I took the kids to the "Americafest"...Anjolie took this just loooovely pic of me driving..and driving...it took a little bit for me to find it, and when we did, they had a full security area to search bags, walk through metal detectors and check ID cards before entering since it was at the Airforce flight-line. It was quite the adventure getting through that with the 4 little ones. I think I was ready to just call it a day at that point ha!




See that little guy sitting in the pic down there? If you look closely, you can see his busted little lip. He fell at the playground this past week and had to have 3 stitches under his lip, poor little guy had to have an IV and be put under sedation for it...but ANYWAY...that was a whole other ordeal that I would just rather not revisit...





It turned out to be soooooooo sweltering hot at the Americafest that I just got the kids a treat once we got through the whole security ordeal and we left....their faces were flushed with heat within moments of arriving. I was afraid of what would happen if I let them go jumping around the bounce house in that heat! There wasn't too much complaint from the kids about leaving, I think they were kinda glad-especially when they felt the AC in the van!
After taking some much needed naps, we went to a BBQ which was alot of fun...I love times of fellowsip. We were able to watch fireworks right from this park which was across the street from my friends house. We all really had a good time. Sorry you could not be there honey-we sure missed you :(

Happy Independence Day!!

I can't wait to see everyone's pics!! Have a great weekend :)

This 4th Of July

....as you watch the fireworks, enjoy family and friends, please take a moment to remember the real "fireworks" going on over "there"...remember those left behind missing their loved ones...remember that this is a difficult time for those who have served in Iraq-they are forever changed. Pray for the brave wives left with little ones to care for and who leave their pillows wet with prayer filled tears...I know that you will remember them today as you wave your flags with pride. They so appreciate our prayers and love.

I know you will remember, most of all, our Saviour who paid the ultimate price for us...who bore the sin for us all on the cross of Calvary. We celebrate our freedom, yes, but it was not without the ultimate cost. Let's remember the price that was paid by our Saviour...Praise the Lord, it is a work complete!

Little 'Uns And Laundry

Life with 4 kids...is filled with such blessing, and then there's the "laundry" side of it....and some craziness;) When I think of it like this, I realize that the work and the blessing are two sides of one coin. You can't have one side without the other. Blessing comes with training.

Deu 6:5 - 7 "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."

I thought of how laundry relates to kids because it always needs to be taken care of, it is hard to keep up with when you have more than 1....and in this house it tends to need some extra TLC to come out bright and white! It also mildews and ruins if it sits for too long-the laundry :)not the kids, if it piles up, it requires lots of undivided attention, it needs the occasional repair, and spots must be noticed and given prompt attention or they will turn into stains. When my laundry is cared for properly and sweet smelling, folded in the drawers...it is such a joy to reap the blessing of the faithful work involved in caring for it- I so enjoy fresh laundry. How sad that I am comparing my precious blessings to laundry, but I think you get my point...we can allow our children to fall into being classified as just another task of the day, like, laundry-when we lose our focus or get overwhelmed in our work/outside ministries,bloggin', and when they have fallen into "disrepair" they are less than enjoyable-they become a burden. Well cared for children are a joy! Sure, just like laundry, this takes constant work, but it is work well worth the effort :) This isn't a "how-to" post...lol, just a "where I'm at" post.

"Craziness" is inevitable at times and I have had to learn to smile and just roll with it-and yes, you would have to have a larger family or small, close together children to really really understand this. :) It is good for the children to see that God can truly keep us in perfect peace and joy even in the midst of "craziness" and the smile on your face will be such reassurance of what an awesome God full of abundant grace we serve. Not that I am good at doing this-I must admit.

Anyway, back to my little epiphany (hahahaha)-Laundry for 6 people has become so routine that I don't put much thought into it-I just.want-it.done. This was the *aha* moment- I notice that when am not *attentive* to my responsibility to the training of my children-really *caring* for each one, I start to treat them like I treat my laundry-like just another task. I try to make sure they get the proper amount of attention every day, I clean, feed, teach, care, listen and correct, but when I fail to "connect" with them individually each and every day on a personal level...relationships become strained-"spots" get neglected. Excessive sibling rivalry is a big indicator to me that my children feel they must compete for a limited amount of attention. Correction becomes a power play-they want attention and I want to quickly get the situation taken care of so I can get back to my work. "Cause' I said so" starts to be the catch-phrase, repeating myself at louder and LOUDER and THAT'S IT-is the final indicator of my neglect. The paddle is left collecting dust because I somehow rationalize that at least I'm not spanking them in anger...sure so I'll just hollar...soooo much better *rolling eyes*. Ummmm yeah, so, since I am relentlessly sticking to my poor little analogy: *ahem* the "laundry" if you will, is making it to the laundry room and really, just set there-out of sight- to deal with later...when I feel up to it. Day after day the "spots", to include my own more serious spots of selfishness and neglect, that needed immediate attention sit and become tough-to-remove stains. When I finally get to the stain, I feel guilty and frustrated and think, "If only I would have taken notice and dealt with it when it happened!" as I am having to spend a great deal of time scrubbing and soaking and scrubbing and soaking wondering if the beautiful fabric will ever be right again. Instead of being angry with myself, I become angry with the consequence of my neglect. This is the same trend at times with my children, if I don't take notice of the "spots" that come up in my children on a daily basis and deal with them then and there...they/we start to develop tough-to-deal with "stains". Bitterness, pride, covetousness, selfishness...they rear their heads in subtle ways at first, and I can catch these symptomatic spots early if I am really getting to know my children on a personal level every day. At least when I give the spots and stains to the Lord, HE is the one who does the scrubbing of my heart...the longer it's left, the more scrubbing is needed-ouch! :)

Getting to know them is such a joy and I don't know how I let the cares of the world crowd out the precious time I have been given to train them. We do many special things together we read, play, act silly, spend time singing praises and learning more about God, but no time is as special to them as the one on one "talk" time. One of my girls' favorite things to do is have tea time with me...and I know that's because we talk while we have our tea...really talk together-share our hearts with one another-express concerns, ask questions, reconcile old hurts, shed some tears, pray... Brianna will ask me early in the day, sometimes, if we can have "tea- when the babies go down" this, I recognize, as needing me to *connect* with her and it is at that time I can notice and ask the Lord to do some "spot" treatment on the areas of concern I see in my child and in myself. I'm sure when Ayden gets older, he and his dad will have their special moments while tossing a ball around, but for now I get to cuddle and talk with him, teach him to pray, read him stories and love and kiss on him. These moments with my children, when I choose to take them, are so precious and beautiful-there are no words to describe how the Lord blesses it. It is better than a Downey fresh, warm smelling stack of folded plush towels...Mmmmmm.

Ps 127:3 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward.

image from allposters.com

An Oasis

An Oasis...that is what I felt I came to when I read this devotion (which I pasted below) from Spurgeon's Morning and Evening Devotions...It was a much needed and SUCH a blessing this morning in the midst of some "growing" pains and after days of experiencing some heavy spiritual attack. After much prayer and heart searching and scripture searching...in closing my time I read this wonderful reminder and was instantly strengthened. The Lord knows what we need when we need it!

( The following was copied from Blue Letter Bible)

"Looking unto Jesus." —Hebrews 12:2
It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of His children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: He tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument—it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on Him; let His death, His sufferings, His merits, His glories, His intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to Him; when thou liest down at night look to Him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after Him, and He will never fail thee.
"My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesu's blood and righteousness:

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesu's name."

*image by Peter Carston-copied from allposters.com

An Update On Cate

My friend let me know that Cate has gone to be with the Lord. You can read here about this precious baby girl who is now with her Heavenly Father. She was 7 mo old when she left this old earth, and now, she will live with our Lord in her glorified body for eternity. Please be in prayer for her parents and siblings. Thank you so much to all of you who lifted up this precious one in prayer...our prayers were answered according to His perfect will...she was healed completely, though not on this side of eternity.

image from google images