Still Going!

Brian's Radar
This post, I wrote more for me than anything...just to get it out there and off my chest. It is a blessing to be able to pour out my soul on here sometimes :) So feel free to skip over this...it is a long (probably very boring) read.. :)

You know how you are driving along and all of the sudden that panic button, in your head and on your dashboard, lights up telling you- YOU NEED GAS!! Then, you drive for what seems like an eternity on "E", your eyes desperately searching for any gas station, no matter the price... just something to keep you from breaking down in the midst of busy traffic. That is how things have been for Brian and I since we have been stationed here, very trying both energywise and emotionally as well...the Lord is really teaching us perseverance, which is a praise, and a major challenge. I am able, because of this, to clearly see on what issues I am firmly grounded "on the rock" and what areas I still have "on the sand". It is amazing how a drought of physical energy and health can clearly reveal where you stand on Spiritual energy. Brian and I, amazingly, have never been closer, or more supportive and sensitive to each other than of late...however, I am still lacking in my patience with the children- on those days when I am thoroughly taxed. :( Still working on those heart issues!!

Brian's schedule continues to be unreasonable...for whatever reason...Military nonsense I guess. He did, however take his sweethearts (me included) out to dinner last night after working ALL day Friday, and all day yesterday. We went to dinner at around 7pm! Tooooo late for the girls, but worth it because it was very important, we felt, to have some special time together. Then, Brian had to drag himself out of bed at 12am to go to work because the military can only use the Okinawa roads for convoys at certain times...to continue with the operation they are working on. He won't be finished until around 8pm tonight! His attitude is remarkable..which encourages me to be positive as well (even if I have to fake it for him sometimes) it helps for him to be able to come home and feel it is a "safe haven" and I am trying to keep that way- with the Lord's strength (there is NO other way). Sometimes I don't know what would be more difficult, for him to be away because then I KNOW what to expect, or this fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants schedule which changes DRASTICALLY -at a moments notice. We have had to apologize and break engagements and obligations time after time after time...it is embarrassing at times.
We have been asked to take over the young adult Sunday School class, but Brian's schedule is just soooo unpredictable! All the more reason we need to be giving it to the Lord right? And again, I am sooo thankful that he IS here with me and his children for now.

The Marine life is a hard one...I would not recommend it to anyone unless they specifically felt called by the Lord to do so. The Lord is faithful, however, even when we make wrong decisions, I am comforted by the promise offered in Romans 8:28 -And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. And in Joel 2:25-26 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.
The Lord has so increased my faith in His power to sustain us these past 5 months! Time after time He has restored my soul when I have lost my bearing and given in to doubt and frustration...His grace has abounded when I feel I just can't deal with one more tantrum or sick child or daily hardship (which is nothing when I think about it- compared to others). I am so glad He still loves me and lifts me up even when I have been ungrateful and blind to the blessings He has poured out on our family.