Fragile

Women are the weaker vessels...and I am probably on the weaker end of the weaker vessel line and having a very fragile day.

Do *you* ever feel misunderstood like you never quite *fit* with anyone? I do, lots. It is my fault, I am sure....I wear my heart on my sleeve..or blog rather. Where there are many words, there is much room for misunderstanding..criticism...sin. I look back over this blog that I have kept for the past 2 years and think about the kind of picture I have painted of myself. You definitely have seen some of the rougher sides as the bumps in the road serve to be inspiration to post ;) -sorry about that. And you know what, it really doesn't matter, because this is *my* reality, my current season-and this is an open book-in a sense. No, I don't share many of the circumstances (completely) that surround my posts about struggles or how the Lord is working, but I do share my heart. There are no frills, just me, typing my thoughts (poorly) or sharing what the Lord is doing in my life, and it is usually done with about 20 interruptions- to take care of more important things like helpling Lily in the bathroom *ahem*.

I am always humbled when I read your thoughts, my friends, my heart aches with you, I worry for you, I admire Christ in you, notice your personal convictions, wonder at your talents, and then, I head back to my thoughts, and can't help but feel forlorn. I briefly thought one time that perhaps I *should* change the "face" of my blog, but then you would only see one side, and I am not very good at that. I am definitely a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kinda gal.

When I am feeling a bit hurt and distant, as I am now, I probably should not post. I don't know, today, I felt lonely. When I get lonely, I curl up with my Lord and our time is so sweet. Just me, alone with Him. It's a shame that I wait until I get lonely to really *curl up* in His lap and let His words sooth my soul. It's so wonderful to spend time with the One who won't let me down, who never changes, who knows my heart through and through. Oh, how I love Him. He made this vessel to suit Himself...I can rest in that.