"Nevertheless"

He has somewhat against me in my lack of consistancy and my coolness towards Him....I have left my "first love" in my abandonment of the "vision" He has given me. Vision as in being faithful in the little things...*ahem*. It shows in my frustration, lack of organization...yeah, I've been here more times than I would like to admit. Defeated? No....learning, growing, moving on. And, I'm on my knees...again...and again. The following broke spoke to my heart today...I found it- rather, the Lord brought it to my attention, whilst I was off on a tangent researching some other "Biblical things" that interested me...but should have been attending to the "little" things. Yeah...the fact that my research was *ahem* Biblical, did not mean it was allowed to monopolize my time, and not just today, this has been going on for a while now...these "bunny trails" if you will.

(To the church of Ephesus, a famous church planted by the apostle Paul (Acts 19))

"I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars: And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name's sake hast laboured, and hast not fainted. Nevertheless I have [somewhat] against thee, because thou hast left thy first love."
Rev 2:2-2:4

Matthew Henry wrote..."Those that have lost their first love must remember whence they have fallen; they must compare their present with their former state, and consider how much better it was with them then than now, how much peace, strength, purity, and pleasure they have lost, by leaving their first love,—how much more comfortably they could lie down and sleep at night,—how much more cheerfully they could awake in the morning,—how much better they could bear afflictions, and how much more becomingly they could enjoy the favours of Providence,—how much easier the thoughts of death were to them, and how much stronger their desires and hopes of heaven." (I added the bold)

edited to say...I'm not in any way trying to be some spiritual giant in this "research"...it's just that chasing bunny trails is so much more fun than say putting away the 3 loads of crumpled up laundry in my linen closet...does that paint a more accurate picture?