Training Them Up

...to be accusers of the brethren. We see it all the time don't we? Scary. From time to time I like to read the articles at No Greater Joy Ministries. Note that I don't agree 100% with everything that is taught, but there are many many good things I have learned in reading the Pearls' material. The articles are many times convicting but also encouraging- I can count on them to give me a fresh perspective. The question and answer session I read today addressed a situation that I see alot...in my own home as well, unfortunately.


"My 8-year-old daughter tells me everything. My husband heard her telling about some things that happened at church and he said it sounded like gossip. How can I encourage her to tell it without her engaging in gossip?"
"Many mothers establish emotionally intense bonds with their children by encouraging "telling all." The "all" the child learns to tell is how bad everyone else's children are and how he alone choose righteousness. Tiny details, such as the other child’s expression or attitude are discussed as well as "why do you think they...?" It is amazing how fast a small child can become subtle in knowing when to leave out or add a word, a phase, an expression, an emotion, or an opinion, thus changing the whole color of what really happened. Once this habit is established it is very hard for mother to see the deception that is so apparent to others. By your eagerness to hear the tale and respond you are encouraging the child into being an "accuser of the brethren."..... Never develop a "them and us" attitude. Don’t lead your daughter to feel superior to others. You should be sad when you hear of the failure of others. Discuss with your daughter ways to help the bad situations. Never allow your daughter to feel a closeness to you by tattling on others. If she emotionally profits from running others down, she will keep doing it even to the point of lying. " You can read the rest HERE.