Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Some Things Never Change

In my case...the ever constant humbling. Okay, you have read the stories, my children really know how to keep me on my toes. This latest (and it's been a few weeks) little nugget of fun I have only recently been able to even *think* about without instantly becoming nauseated with humiliation.

SO, we love our new church, the people there are wonderful, the Pastor and his wife are such a blessing and the Asst Pastor and his wife...also, SUCH a blessing. They have gone out of our way to make us feel loved and welcome. The Asst Pastor and his wife invited us over to their house for dessert one Sunday Evening and we accepted, of course, but I am always just a little bit nervous about how the kids will do. Swallowing my pride, I asked the Lord to bless our time of fellowship...and whatever that would entail. Well, soon after we get into the door, Lily and Anjolie both need to use the restroom *sigh* you would have thought I JUST made them drink like two canteens of water or something! So, while Anjolie is "going" as fast as she can, Lily can't wait and has an accident on the bathroom floor...*sigh* yep, she did. SO, the graceful lady gets me a pair of her daughter's undies for Lily to use, I clean up the mess and with a deep breath try to just shake it off. Okay, not so bad, these things happen, right? We had a wonderful time of fellowship, dessert and coffee. I felt pretty good that I was able to "move on" from that so quickly instead of just wanting to, you know, DIE. That was soon to be followed by episode 2...why can't my episodes, like the movies, get less and less interesting???

The next week we are invited to the Pastor's house for lunch after church. I was so excited to get to talk to them more and tried to shrug off the sense of foreboding that hung over me about the kids not being....well, miniature little adults that can sit perfectly still and quiet for 2 hours or more and quite honestly...make me look good- as a mom-THERE I said it. "Ding ding ding...Heather has NAILED her pride issue on the head...what does the lucky lady GET?" said my best gameshow host voice...

Just a know what is SO BAD...I KNOW you all are just GIDDY to know *gasp* "WHAT DID THEY DO???"'s okay I'd be like that too HAHAHA

"Okay, Bob, Heather has just won..... a second helping of humiliation!!!" *canned applause erupts*

Let me just set the stage by explaining how immaculate and beautiful this dear Pastor and wife's home was decorated...just beautfiul. Tasteful nick-nacks, scented candles, flowers....quaint charming corners. It was just beautiful. Pastor loves to hunt, so he had some deer was just picturesque. Dinner went well until Ayden got a dribble of water on his pants, so I excused myself and him to change his pants since he wouldn't tolerat the Tablespoonful offensive wet spot. Ayden had just finished potty training, so I went to the car to get the diaper bag which had an extra outfit and undies. When I got to the car I saw that we had left said bag at the nursery for the evening service ( I GUESS that was the idea, it was Brian's fault of course ;) ). I toted Ayden back in and assured him his pants would dry just fine. Ayden distracted himself with the corner of toys Mrs Pastor had arranged while I helped serve dessert. We had a wonderful time sharing stories and talking over dessert and coffee when I realized that Ayden had been quiet for a few minutes. I walked to where he should have been and when I didn't see him, turned to see him exiting the hallway which leads to the bathroom..... Now, I did say Ayden was finished potty training...but he still needs HELP especially with the latter of the #s. Ayden sauntered toward me with NO PANTS and NO UNDIES on ...holding hands out that were covered in aforementioned latter #.... I think that at that moment I thought I was going to die, but when I scooped him up and saw the beautiful little lavendar bathroom with the scented candle burning it's little heart out amidst the stench and freshly "painted" walls...I think, yeah, I did, I died in some way in that moment. Ayden had not "made" all of "it" in the toilet ...for instance, some was on the cute little lavender rug on the floor, some was on the seat and then it looked as if he had stepped in "it" and then attempted to wipe it off his feet with his hands and then attempted to wipe his hands by, I don't know, using the whole roll of toilet paper and then the wall with varying degrees of artistic talent and technique....perhaps in that order but maybe not. I, stuffed my heart back down my throat where it lodged itself for the remainder of the day, and in a pool of sweat, while dodging Ayden's dirty little hands, cleaned up the best I could with a towel I found under the sink. I stuffed Ayden's soiled undies....IN HIS POCKET for lack of any other place...and proceeded to try and whisk my family out of that poor home as quickly as possible. On our way out, and to my absolute horror, Pastor lovingly swoops the much needing a bath Ayden up to touch a deer he has mounted on the eyes willlllllled that underwear to just HANG IN THERE as I saw a corner peeking out of his pocket. I could barely I am sure you can imagine. My friends, have you EVER!!!!????? I did not want to embarrass Brian in front of Pastor so I called Mrs Pastor on my cell soon after we left so that she could properly clean the bathroom. I think I got everything but the smell...and that blessed little candle will probably NEVER be the same. Yeah, to my regret...we lived through it...not sure how I could have an ounce of pride left after that little gem, but I'm sure you will hear the next time I do!


missy said...

OH Heather....I have NO words. Wow. Bless your heart. :)

Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years said...

*sigh* No Missy said.

Just think of all the reward opportunity you afforded your Pastor's family through this experience!

liz said...

Another speechless one here. Oh wow! Thank you for sharing this. Sadly, it made me feel less alone in my "boy drama" I am constantly experiencing.

Krystle said...

OH MY WOW!!!! I don`t think I could have delt that!!!!
My mom said she is long past those stages!!!!!

Cherlyn said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

Sons. Gotta love 'em.

I live IN Jesus said...

OH MY!!!!! I WOULD HAVE DIED!!! :D And unfortunately my mercy for the culprit would have probably been WAY less than it should have been because they may have died with me ;)!!! WOW. God bless you, Heather, with an extra measure of mercy and grace! ((hugs))
Sarah T

The Alvarado Family said...

Hysterial Heather! Sorry! But I do LOVE the boy drama...nice to see I'm not the only one living it! Oh, the things I could blog about my 3 boys given the time to do it!