Saturday, September 22, 2007

When Is Enough...Enough?

I am struggling in a big way today with ungratefulness...and a bad attitude and a few more issues I am sure. So, let me just cut to the chase...my husband's command is about on my *last* nerve...there, I said it. I am so tempted to just rant away...and believe me, in my head, I am, but I don't *want* to feel this way. I don't *want* to disregard all of the blessings......today I am weary in the military life. Just weary, tired, and jealous of the time it has with my DH. We see very little of one another :( I have told about anyone who would listen that I drove around on a donut for a week waiting for a moment with my DH who had the new tire in his van so we could change it!! Where in my heart is the thankfulness for the money to even get a new tire...trampled on... because I am wanting to be angry with the military life...which, I might add, I have struggled with from the get go. I was so humbled to read of Ashleigh's beautiful attitude in light of her circumstances. I can't elaborate on mine right now, my attitude stinks and needs the Lords Hand to clean it up. So, this is my ungrateful rant...I am off to hit the floor with my knees in prayer...truly. My circumstances are piddly compared to others facing disease, death, combat *sigh*. Boy, do I feel like an ungrateful brat this morning...Lord, please, help my heart today...it has some *issues*.

11 comments:

Pam said...

Oh, Heather, do I ever know how you feel! I have been tempted so many times to actually write down the times that I get to see my husband; just to have more ammunition as to how little that amount of time is. But, that wouldn't do anyone any good! Thank YOU, for this reminder to be grateful for what we DO have. I think I'll go and join you in that prayer time now!

Free In Christ said...

Heather, I admire you! Really! I don't know how you and many other military families do it. Honestly, it is nice to hear that it bothers you, not that I want you to be unhappy, it is just nice to know that you are human. And I will pray for you today to be encouraged. You are an amazing wife and mother. I wish you the best. Again you are in my thoughts and prayers, life can be so tiresome with little ones around, especially when you face it alone most of the time.
I hope you days become better.

Grafted Branch @ Restoring the Years said...

There are times that only prayer will realign us. It's all really quite super-natural? Isn't it? The natural is to feel just as you do.

I'm so sorry you feel low; I will lift you in prayer today too.

Happymama said...

Been there, Sista! Praying things settle for you!

~Kristi

Heather said...

Pam- I know you are *feelin* me right now :) I agree with GB...the way I feel is natural...we are to draw on the supernatural..so convicting.

Melissa- yes, human is right. God *is* so good, and my flesh is so rebellious...I hate it.

GB- thank you for a convicting response. I need to allow the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to adjust my attitude. It is embarrassing when I reject (because it is a rejection) His grace so I can wallow in discontentedness.

Kristi, thank you...yes, well, I think things will settle when I learn to be content no matter the circumstance...*sigh* :) God is good.

Anonymous said...

heather,
What a nice blog page...is it hard to join? I will save it to my favorites. I pray things are better with you. I know it is hard, but even in your worst moments you have a wonderful spirit. Your children reflect that. You are amazing, and God is so good. I love and miss you. Romans 14:19..this has been my newest life verse.

liz said...

Praying for you my sweet friend. I, too, know how it feels and am experiencing something very similar myself.

Heather said...

Hi anon :) It is sooo easy to join...highly recommend joining :)I *think* I know who you are...but just to be sure..does your name begin with K or V? love you either way! Heather

Liz, thank you. I really appreciate it. love you too! heather

Kimberly said...

It is kimberly, I will have to have my hubby look into this for me. I am so silly. YOU ROCK!! Can I say that as a pastor's wife...mmm..

Haus Frau said...

From ashes come beauty - and that's how our attitudes develope by the power and instruction of the Holy Spirit. You are not alone in this. :o)

Heather said...

(((Kimberly))) love you my friend...blogs are the BEST ;) You MUST join! Hurry, I wanna see pics and get all the updates :)

haus frau-whew...I feel like a miserable failure some days...ok, alot of days. Thank you for the encouragement!