I found this draft from 2 years ago in my posts...amazing how it is still convicting even today!
Okay, after some big 'ole bumps and heart searching, here are just some of the weeds as a result of failure in one major commandment
2. Bite off more than I can chew
3. Love fiercely but not always so unconditionally
4. Perfectionist in denial
5. Give until I'm empty and then point the finger when I "burn out"
6. Lack of contentment
7. Allow the expectations of others to rule and overwhelm me
8. Desperately want to be a good friend, but due to #s 2,3,4,5,6 and 7 I end up withdrawing altogether for a season until I recover from my failures....the list goes WAY on too ;)
I, in my own desire to circumvent SIMPLE TRUTH, end up complicating it all, the answer is really a lack of faithfulness to that MOST important commandment of all which is Duet.6:5, "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." Not that this is suddenly the magic key that unlocks the answer to all of life's questions, nor does it save me from all heartache and pain, but it IS the key to having the peace, strength and discernment needed when faced with the trials especially those in which I have no answer or understanding as to why. It is *the* filter through which every single other decision, relationship, task, truth should be pushed through. It is not a something to be laid out and forgotten...it must continually used. So often, my beautiful garden of fellowship with my Lord has been laid aside while I was "busy" about the what I thought was the Lord's work...Math 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
We have a God who equips and sustains us to His honor and glory...not to our own or anyone elses. Oh Lord SAVE me from my own expectations and undertakings that are apart from Yours.
The only thing to do from here is to allow the fields of sin, (in my case, whether it be pursuing knowledge for knowledge sake or ministering to others before my own family or seeking man's approval over Gods') to die out as I labor in that FIRST field, busy about the FIRST things.