Monday, March 19, 2007

Messy Desk

That is how my mind seems at times. Scattered disjointed thoughts cares and worries float aimlessly around and keep me distracted. I start to feel agitated about the neglect that caused these "files" in my mind to be left undone. Prayers for my children that went unsaid and caused worry -a couple of neglected phone calls (which I have taken care of now) burdened me with guilt, laundry that was left for a couple of days tempted me to point a finger of blame...OK yeah, I did, I blamed my family for wearing clothes dare they ;) My neglect in random areas and then a sudden push to catch up caused my husband to fall a few steps on my priorities list which put some tension between us. None of these issues were very pronounced in and of themselves, but they added up and each one is important. Rationalizing and procrastinating did not make them go away, it just added to the tension I was suppressing. I had started using my own strength and wisdom in my state of disorganization and lack of balance. It is no wonder I ended up sick :) It takes alot of physical energy to maintain neglect...sin...ok I will just call it what it is.
I needed the ultimate "defragging" devices...the Bible and the Holy Spirit convicting me and showing me what I needed to give over to the Lord. As I sat home sick today, the Lord showed me some encouraging things after dealing with my heart.

Philippians 4:6-7 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." "Be careful for nothing" or avoid anxious care and distracting thoughts concerning self. How can I avoid fretting about things I say I have given to God? I must constantly pray.. "but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving..." . Any concern, any wisdom needed, a burden, an oversight...God CARES and wants to HELP ME :) That I might have a spirit, not burdened with care for myself...HE CARES for me, but one that is filled with Him and ready for service! He wants me to have a peace which results from a walk that is bathed in prayer and instructed in righteousness.

So, is peace out of the question because things have gotten out of balance? It sure "felt" that way...Praise the Lord I can/should never go by "feelings". The Lord exposed the "weights" of neglect I had allowed in my life, and they just seemed to sneak in one by one! As I would try to cover up one neglect with lots of focus, other things would fall into neglect...everything got out of balance..mostly my time with my family and ...laundry. He pierced my heart with the truth and I got on my knees and asked the Lord well, to forgive me for neglecting my priorities and to give me the wisdom and grace and strength to drop these weights of neglect, be responsible and move forward. It will require work, but it is amazing the joy I have in the accomplishing my responsibilities as He strengthens me and helps me to work efficiently. When I give my troubles to Him, I CAN have peace in knowing He will see me through as I obey the light He gives me concerning my neglect.

My mind IS my worst enemy. So it is important for me to medidate on His Word. As I work I must constantly pray or my mind will become burdened with discouraging thoughts which overwhelm and blame others...Today, He truly put a song in my heart even as I felt sick. Singing kept my mind focused on my loving Heavenly Father and not myself and the mess I had allowed to pile up (mostly in my mind). I felt His peace flood my heart.

The Peace He gives will keep me from sinking underneath my troubles into depression. Do you ever notice that it is not the ONE BIGGIE that sinks us, it's all the little things (or they seem little) that get neglected...a prayer time, Bible reading, quality time with the kids, the dishes in the sink, an apology left unsaid, the phone call, the goodnight kiss... Overwhelmed? Give your loose ends to Him-He will shine His light on "weights" of neglect, forgive when asked and give the proper perspective so tasks can be effectively prioritized and tackled. We then have peace when we walk in obedience and see His ways at work in our lives-it really is amazing how the world suddenly seems brighter when we give our "to-do" list to God and He gives His wisdom and grace to accomplish it the right order and in the right time :). He took my "messy desk" of a mind and didn't clear it off, but He organized it into something that I can, with His strength, tackle in an effective manner to His glory.

Isa 26:3 "Thou wilt keep [him] in perfect peace, [whose] mind [is] stayed [on thee]: because he trusteth in thee."

1Cor 2:12 "Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God."


Grafted Branch said...

That first paragraph could have been me talking. LOL at blaming your family for wearing clothes!

I loved when you said, "it is amazing the joy I have in the accomplishing my responsibilities." It's so true, isn't it? That I must continually re-learn that fact just goes to show what an "Isrealite wandering in the desert" I am.

Now...I must go do some laundry. No kidding...

Happymama said...

Heather, loved this post. :)

I want you to go to my profile and email me. I have something I'd like to share with you.


Mishel said...

Excellent, excellent post! I really needed to read this today. I liked what you said about, it's not usually the "biggie" that sinks us...but all the neglected little things. So true!

I love the verses you posted. Perfect! And I hope you feel better soon!

Heather said...

GB, my attitude is such an issue that I am daily discovering I am very much following in the footsteps of some ungrateful Isrealites...I am so thankful the Lord forgives and restores. :)

Kristie..:) I emailed you!

Mrs Mishel-I let little things drive me nuts! You would think I would have learned by now that consistancy is the key, but no...I drop all the little things to take care of the "Biggie" and then end up not really taking care of big miserable cycle. I feel better today after being on azythromyocin :) that should kill about everything!