Thursday, July 13, 2006


... where you just want to throw in the towel and call it a day. I don't even know where to begin with this day. Maybe it started in the weee hours of the morning with Lily running a fever, or perhaps it was Ayden who just needed to nurse all night...but somewhere, the evil one had a hay-day testing our family today! I went to a homeschooler's meeting this morning which was incredibly encouraging and wonderful, so the fact that today was filled with attack should not be a surprise since homeschooling is just begging for attack anyway. But, I could tell Anjolie was having more trouble than usual controlling her emotions...a storm was brewing! Then right after the homeschooling meeting, I had another appointment which I knew was going to push her overboard since it was running over her nap time, but there was no way I could break it. Anjolie behaved terribly, Lily cried the entire 2 hours...Ayden cried for some of it, and Brianna did not cry, but pouted! It looked and felt a lot worse than it sounds. I was so heartbroken...and I know that is how God must feel when we are trained and taught then tested and stumble. I am so discouraged because, the worst part excuses...I ranted and raved at them once we were in the car about how awful they behaved. I was so wrapped up in my disappointment that I forgot about my whole purpose in training them. Training them up to love and serve the Lord with love and grace. I totally failed today because I was relying on myself instead of God...oh wait...I was planning on going to visitation tonight since I missed Tuesday...grr...I was blindsided (or should that be blindsighted) again!


Karen said...

Heather...I pray that the Lord will give you his peace and comfort as you strive so hard to be the best mom and wife you can be. He will honor your efforts and forgive your slips. Just remember, greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world! Lots of love...Karen

Heather said...

Thank you are so right. I am teary at this beautiful reminder.

Happymama said...

Heather, been there, done that, sister! But thankfully, when we've given in to the flesh, the Heavenly Father is there waiting for us to kneel at His feet in humbleness. And Karen is so right. God will honor your efforts, especially if your heart is repentant. AMEN!