Friday, April 21, 2006

Choked Up

..that is how I feel today. My children, well, one little girl really....(I am SURE by some of my past posts you know who I am talking about) has been having an awful problem with temper tantrums. I do handle her defiance in a Biblical manner (heh heh how's that for P.C.?), but I think I have found the problem...the real problem...ME. I use such a harsh tone with her. The Lord allowed me to really hear myself and it is awful. Eph 4:31 "Let all bitterness, and wrath and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice." I am going to use this I hate feeling angry. Anyway, I took the girls to gymnastics and it was an extremely difficult morning getting them all dressed, fed and out the door by 8:45am with them fighting and crying me being angry...*sigh* So, we prayed and got it together before we arrived to gymnastics. I watched my little girls during their class and saw that Anjolie (oops, cats out)was still having some "listening and obeying" trouble even with her teacher. I wanted to frown at her to show my disapproval, but thought better of it and smiled at her when I caught her eye instead. She gave me a warm smile back and immediately started to participate with her class. After the class, I did not mention the difficulty I saw, but asked what her favorite thing about the class was...she said "When I saw you watching me mommy and you smiled at me". My heart just broke. When the Bible speaks about exhorting one another...He means our kids as well..I am so set on letting them know exactly when they are wrong and what they need to improve on that I forget to truly praise them to obedience. I am so weak in the area of temperance when it comes to my my mind, once they turn 3, they need to be miniature adults (WRONG). Brutal honesty...that makes me a worldly mom who wants kids that "look" good instead of guiding their hearts Godward. Please pray for me as the Lord guides and corrects me in this area.


MrsWndr said...

Heather, I know exactly what you're going through. I have the same tendency toward Ryelie at times. I really appreciate you putting that verse up. I'm going to have to write that down. I want you to know that all the things you go through, that you post about...are such a help and ministry to me. Your heart and attitude when it comes to your children and to God is something I strive for. I'm praying for you.

Free In Christ said...

Wow! You are so convicting sometimes (okay in a good way) I have been struggling with the same thing. I know that I talk to harsh with the boys at times, and I can tell how it affects them. Thanks for the scripture reference. You are very encouraging to me. Oh, the "look good complex" I have that problem. UGH!!! We are just sinners covered by the blood and need his help each day to do the right thing. Isn't it great that even if we don't he still loves us anyway.

Heather said...

Thank you...I just get so upset because even though the girls and I have some very special times together, I can get angry soooo quickly if I don't take time to make sure I am "taking off the old" I keep thinking "what if I posted MY temper tantrums on the blog" It is a real "heart"-opener...I HATE this old flesh :(

abrightnewdawn said...

I love in your comment how you say something about posting OUR temper tantrums. I'm SOOOOO there. :)
Great post. I'm with you. I expect A LOT from my 7 year old, who is a mini-me by the way, and I think I SHOULD expect a lot out of her, but handle it better when she falls short. I think that she's better FOR what I expect from her, but when she falls short, I need to turn to "biblical discipline" first, not last. I tend to take the easy way out, with my mouth. :) I think it's a convicting moment, rather often lately, when my 7 year old is reprimanding, or correcting, one of the younger ones in an other-than-appropriate tone. It's SUCH a mirror.
GREAT VERSE. I'm going to read that chapter tonight, get some context.
You sound like you're doing a great job, keep it up!

Jamie said...

Wow Heather, what a convicting post. And you know just what I mean.