Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Do You Ever...

Do you ever just stop and think about what is going on in your life in the very present? I mean just for a second, hit pause on your life...kind of like the special affect used in movies and commercials where everything is stopped mid-motion, but the actor is free to look and walk around. Imagine that, on a large scale, where you could see your children's lives, your spouse, your friends, -loved ones. As I hit pause, for just a moment, I see my husband probably almost asleep at the Staff Academy- now I think about the dreams I had of him being my knight in shining armor, I remember times where I should have encouraged and instead criticized- I write a note to myself, "treat and speak of my husband as my knight in shining armor- love him pray for him...always always lift him up and not tear him down". Next, I am in my children's bedrooms and, as I look at their angelic sleeping faces, I remember all the fun things I imagined we would do, how I promised never to yell in anger again, how I forgot to look at the picture one of them had drawn for me because I was too busy, how I have shushed them because I wanted to hear or read the news...in my mind's eye I can see their disappointed little faces as they quietly turn away and find something to do because mommy is just not interested. I remember tears that had gone undried, promises not yet kept- note to self, "list and prioritize my goals for my children, schedule the activities I want to share with them, make eye contact and listen". I think of people in ministries who I have been too busy to thank and encourage along the way- I imagine them as they probably stay up late cutting out pictures and studying lessons for the 3 year old's Sunday School class. How I, without a thought or care just toss the papers in the trash sometimes -I make a note to at least notice and appreciate the efforts of my fellow brethren. The truth is- I don't let people know enough that I appreciate them, that I notice when they are hurting, that I am praying for them, that there is so much more I would like to do to be a blessing to them...
The truth is- when I examine a "paused" past argument, I don't see love on my face, I see selfish desires and pride. I see a spouse who longs to be admired and respected.
The truth is- when I look at some of my motives for training my children -it is for self glory and not God's
The truth is-there is nothing good unless it has God written ALL OVER IT. I will never be a successful wife and mother unless God is at the reigns. My life will be filled with regret unless I allow HIM to direct my paths.
I wonder, if, when I release that pause button that I will make it a priority to heed my mental notes, or will I continue to put it off until...it wouldn't make a difference.

7 comments:

Vickie said...

You can tell you love your family alot =]

Free In Christ said...

Ouch! Thanks for the reminder.
You are such an encouragement.
Love...Melissa

Happymama said...

Heather, this was such an eye opening post. Thank you for taking the time to share what was on your heart for this subject. It's a gentle reminder that we all need to take time from our busy lives to thank and appreciate those in our lives.

~Kristi

ashleigh said...

This made me cry, Heather. I needed that reminder. I tend to get so caught up in myself and how I feel that I totally lose sight of the Lord in the moment He has given me right now. Thank you for the reminder... love you!

abrightnewdawn said...

Just thinking about ya, Heather! Thought I'd say "Hi"!! How is it with your husband at Staff Academy?? I loved what you wrote here, just never commented!!
Hope you are well!!

Heather said...

Thanks to all of you for your love and encouragement. I always get excited to share things with my blog friends because you are always so supportive and loving :) :hug: to you all

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